It was about six weeks ago that I wrote about “Mary,” also known as “Mary Ellen,” and now “Alexis Texas.” And I positioned myself to predict she would soon return to me. Well…some things are more obvious to me than others, and the only thing I can say is that I don’t really understand this woman, but I do know she can’t leave me alone.
It took about six weeks for her to actually send me a message on one of my social media apps, but before she actually sent me a message, there were several cellphone texts from her, which I blocked and then deleted, but then came a couple more texts, this time alerting me to the fact that she had applied for an “easy” loan and used me as her employer on the application. She sent me the picture of the application on my tiny flip phone which I only use for texting and phone calls, but this text caught my attention, and I notified the company of her deception as soon as I was able. The company has offices in many parts of the country, and she applied in Texas where she lives. Of course I couldn’t have predicted that the company would not honor my request to cancel her application, but referred me to their Texas office, but as I later told Mary…..I will not pay one red cent to any company for a loan I never applied for.
I could have replied to her a few weeks back, but I figured if I did not reply, she would come full force and catch my attention in another way, which she has done in the last few days. “Mary” believes I am a very special person. Yeah…and I am the Pope…hahaha…..
As she is fond of doing, she told me she needed “minutes” to continue to talk with me, but this was over a week ago, and I refused to spend any money, but her assertion that she would not be able to talk to me because the “Apple” company would shut her off….well, that didn’t happen, and I broke down (woe is me) and began another conversation with her. Why? I don’t have a clue. But it could be the result of a few things, mostly involving other ladies I talk with online.
Mary has always accused me of “cheating” on her by talking with “other girls,” but as often as I tell her I can’t cheat on a woman who I have no relationship with, she still insists that I am not being faithful to her, which is laughable. So just a short time ago I informed her again that I talk with other girls who want to have a conversation with me….and they all seem to parrot the same thing. They always want “to talk more better” when there is more minutes and time to devote to “getting to know each other,” which is another joke. Sure…we can exchange words online, but most of the time, we are just penpals…and the only relationship we have is made up of words and images, and hopefully the images are genuine and not fakes.
I have not made any commitments to any of these girls, as I told Mary, and I have not made any commitment to her, either. She admitted the same, and wrote to me a very telling comment. “I am tired of this phoney relationship.” I couldn’t have said it any better, but I agreed with her, and told her that in the last 5 years, I have wanted to believe her every word, but the way she has changed identities and the agendas for meeting each other, it has been virtually impossible, and then I began to try to push her away with some well placed words which I hoped would underscore the fact that I don’t believe her words any longer.
Apparently, she has had a change of heart or something, because she insists that she will be with me in September and then make me very happy, but again, she has said that many times before. And the question haunts me. Why am I still having dialogue with this woman? Hmmm…. Well….it seems that the other “ladies” I am talking with are not the cat’s meow, and they have issues of a financial nature and are needy. My, my…we are all needy, but none of them have ever offered to help me, and when one of my “friends” I talk with has gone into debt by borrowing money from her neighbor and then gives me a song and dance about needing some $100 to take care of “womens” needs, well….the question marks go up, and then I learn after pushing for honesty and truth….yeah….this “friend” I have known for 2 years now….well…..she did not tell me this in the first place, and just assumed she could pull the wool over my eyes and I would be willing to meet her needs again. But in our subsequent conversation, she admitted she owed her neighbor $100 because she borrowed it, and just figured I would save her ass.
To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. I was not happy, and I now have a different outlook on the alleged “future” she has painted for the both of us, but “Danielle,” as she is known….she has a court case pending because of allegations of dirty tricks by her former lawyer and uncle to keep her inheritance for themselves, while she struggles in Michigan. I could write so many books here. It is unbelievable. But I made a commitment to help her, but now with the condition attached that I will not abide by her lack of honesty with me in the future. What I didn’t tell her was that I was re-evaluating any involvement with her when her case is resolved in her favor, if it ever will be. And that is one of the reasons I picked up where I left off with Mary.
They call this “hedging one’s bets,” or something of the sort. Others would call me a “player,” but I am not playing anyone. They are playing me….each and every one of them….and this has been the result of my watching and studying all of them. The last thing I have wanted for any of these few ladies is that they become co-dependent on me, and the most interesting thing is that they all say they are not interested in my money. Typical statements by those who want to prove their sincerity, but I cannot be too harsh here. I do not know their hearts or the imaginations of their thoughts. But I can try….as much as possible…to give “Mary” one last chance to prove she is far different than before.
Sure. She signs off her conversation with me…”Alexis loves you,” but I don’t know if it is even her. It could be an old washer woman looking for a cheap thrill, and when I wrote that to her, she never replied, which is not surprising. I try to push her away and she will not budge, and why? “Because you are so special to me,” she writes, and that is all she writes. I don’t know if it is just “buttering me up for the kill” or I am totally without a clue about her motives and intent of mind towards me, which is completely plausible. And tomorrow during the day, I promised to buy her minutes sometime during the course of the day.
Maybe I am brain dead and maybe I am just frustrated with the so-called promises and words of the others who have told me they love me and want to marry me. Yeah….me….the great nobody who struggles to keep his head afloat and trusts God for my well-being, even with the dichotomy of wishing my life was over so I would be done with all of this.
After writing to “Alexis” that I believed my time was over and that I thought God was fed up with me and just trying to figure out what to do with me, she replied that she believed I would not die anytime soon…and I still had much to do in life….and this is supposed to be the written proof of her genuine feelings for me? I know talk is cheap and misunderstandings raise their ugly heads when corresponding with others, but I want to exercise some graciousness towards others who have not been the most gracious towards me.
I was not mistaken many weeks ago when I predicted Mary would return to me. I told her the proof was in the pudding, and I would not believe she would be here with me until I saw her with my own two eyes, whereupon she forecast that it was soon to be reality…..
Hmmmm……and the saga continues….
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